Watching The Hitler Channel causes Erectile Dysfunction

Cannoneer is in between contracts, so I have been forced –, I mean I want to watch TV with him, so I watch a lot of stuff that I normally would not watch.  History Channel, Military Channel, History Channel International, Discovery Channel.  I normally watch, when I’m not reading, Fox News, BBC America (I love Britcoms),  American Movie Classics — when it’s not John Wayne month), Turner Classic Movies for silly romances and film noir, and Boomerrang for cartoons.  I watch a lot of cartoons — because there is rarely anything worth watching.

So for the last three years I have not had to watch what a man’s man would watch.

Well now I can tell you what channel we are on just by the commercials — on the manly shows I am forced to hear about ED problems until I couldn’t really care less if anyone ever has it.  There are three kinds of ED pills and boy do they flog the  heck out of them.  Also beer is on the Manly Channels along with big expensive autos and meat commercials.

On the Female Channels I see “Boy, are you old, you need this lotion so your man will have sex with you”  — or

“Lord have mercy,  you are so fat you need this diet”

The American advertising industry is driving me nuts with the I’m so old and fat that I need whatever they are selling Chinese water torture. 

Why can’t we drive defeatists nuts with the truth about how well our boys are doing in Iraq and Afghanistan or how we need everyone’s help to keep our hearts and minds open to the possibility of victory?

Cannonette

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Watching The Hitler Channel causes Erectile Dysfunction

  1. suek

    And in the case of priapus, call for medical assistance. Holey moley….yer’ durn tootin’!!!

  2. A substantial portion of my knowledge in military history came from the History channel. Not only did they provide new and interesting details on events I had already known of, but they also brought entire segments of history that I had not even known had existed. Those two things are of course closely related.

    It became a sort of exponential equation. THe more context of history I learned, the more I could fit the pieces of the puzzle together to ensure that it made sense. As more pieces were acquired, more sense was made out of fewer pieces.

  3. That made me laugh. Men get all the ED pills on their channels, women get the you’re so fat treatment, and kids get ads for junk food and toys. It’s just more spam with special effects.

  4. I think Frank Zappa said it best 40 years ago:

    “I am gross and perverted, I’m obsessed and deranged
    I have existed for years but very little has changed

    I’m a tool of the government and industry too
    for I am destined to rule and regulate you
    I’m the best you can get, have you guessed me yet?
    I’m the slime oozing out from your TV set.

    You will obey me when I seed you
    with the garbage that I feed you
    Until the day that we don’t need you
    Don’t call for help no one will hear you.

    Well I am the slime from your video
    Ooozing along on your living room floor
    I am the slime from your video
    Can’t stop the slime people look at me go.”

  5. Jay

    Dude I KNOW. I watch The same TV shows you do and all I hear about is floppy penis syndrome from “my high blood pressure and diabetes”, which is giving me depression symptoms that persist even after treatment, so I think I should talk to my doctor and get some toxic kenoki footpads.

  6. When the TV’s I have finally give out, I don’t think I’ll be replacing them. Too little content worth watching the ever more annoying commercials.